Posts in Reflections
Winter Solstice

 

 

"You are like a candle. Imagine you are sending light out all around you. All your words, thoughts and actions are going in many directions. If you say something kind, your kind words go in many directions, and you yourself go with them. We are ...transforming and continuing in a different form at every moment." -Thich Nhat Hanh


Happy Winter Solstice!

Holiday Shows Re-cap

I spent November and the first bit of December finishing up my show season.  It has been a full year of numerous shows, and I am so thankful to everyone who came out to all of them.  I began selling Christmas gifts as early as September and have created many custom orders given as gifts for friends and loved ones.  Many of you shared your hearts and your journey.  I heard stories of far off travels, of those grieving beginning their way on their healing journey, and of those who were fighting through a variety of hard circumstances.  Many of you keep journals and reflect regularly, many of you sketch and "doodle".  I can't count the number of times that you told me that you didn't have anything really important to write, but you write anyway.  So do I.  I write because it is good for my soul.  It helps me stay aware and remember and make decisions.  It also reminds me to play.  Some of you even brought your journals and sketchbooks to me to show me the beautiful and fun ways that you are using them.  Thank you.  I deeply appreciate how you have shared yourselves with me in the incredibly diverse ways that you have.  It is that sort of connection that makes doing this so rewarding.  As I take a deep breath from this year of traveling from show to show often multiple weekends in a row, know that I am whispering prayers of gratitude for each and everyone of you.

Reflecting on Thailand {Part 1}

As some of you know, I recently took a couple weeks off.  I went to Bangkok for dental work, traditional Thai massage, and rest.  I have wanted to visited Thailand ever since a friend brought me back a silk scarf my freshman year of college.  Since then, I’ve met a massage therapist who does traditional Thai massage, studied in Thailand, and has become a dear friend.  She and I both needed dental work done and decided to do dental tourism in Thailand.  The dental work was by far my best dental experience.  They were quick, but gentle and precise.  There wasn't any pressuring or fear-inducing talk.  If you are curious about it, please do not hesitate to ask about details. 

The dental work was only one aspect of the trip.  Being around Thai people was like coming home to parts of myself that I had either shut down or didn't realize were there.  I've come back feeling relaxed and settled deep within.  I did alot of watching and taking things in. 

While there are many aspects to share, one of them is the traffic in Bangkok.  The traffic was shocking, especially to someone who grew up in KY.  I sat in taxis and tuk tuks watching the inevitable and numerous traffic jams.  At times, the traffic would begin to go fast, and we would just as suddenly stop and may not move for awhile.  Cars, buses, taxis, and tuk tuks were constantly changing lanes.  This sometimes involved driving on the wrong side of the road.  There were also motercycles with no restrictions, zipping in between traffic or even up on the sidewalk.  They are like water filling the little bit of space between cars.  What was most shocking to me was that I did not see one wreck nor did I see stress on any of the Thais’ faces.  No one was shouting or getting angry or aggressively honking.  When traffic would move, they would make room for each other.  Everyone wasn’t trying to be first.  If someone got in front, it wasn’t seen as cutting someone off.  There was an underlining sense that there was enough space for everyone.  

At one point when I was waiting to cross a street, I saw a young barefoot boy run up to the stopped traffic and start cleaning the windshields.  The people in the stopped cars just smiled and paid him for his work.  He scurried out of the streets when traffic started moving.  I tried picturing a similar scenario happening where I live.  I couldn’t conceive it.  No one was angry at this boy for just cleaning and not asking first and expecting money.  They knew he was trying to make it just like we all are…and so they shared and gave what they could.  With all the traffic and the weaving in and out, there was a relaxed sense of knowing that everyone would eventually get to where they needed to go.  Everyone has somewhere to be and is trying to move forward.   

As I enter the holidays this year, I am holding these stories close.  There is space enough for all of us, room for sharing, and the ability to recognize that we are all just moving forward the best we can.  Recognizing can be enough to move our hearts to be a bit more compassionate.  I would encourage you to do the same…to not get too drawn into the stress of buying, going non-stop, and feeling obligated.   This holiday season, may we have a softer approach towards ourselves and towards those around us.  As the sign in the above picture says, let us "move in love".

Enough

“There is enough for everyone's need but not enough for everyone's greed.” — Mahatma Gandhi

At a recent art festival, I saw a tattoo that I simply could not ignore.  It was on a woman's upper arm in huge letters:  enough.  It could not be missed.  It was so captivating.  My first thought was the above Gandhi quote.  My second was a story that I heard while working at an eating disorder facility.  One of the things we dealt with were the women comparing themselves to other women.  One counselor gave the following illustration:  Say you're on an elevator.  You are feeling pretty good about yourself  Maybe you are even feeling pretty.  And then, the elevator stops at a floor on the way to your destination and another woman steps in.  You think to yourself that she is beautiful.  Immediately, any self-confidence is gone and you're convinced that you are ugly...as if there is not enough beauty in the world for both of you to be beautiful. 

We do this with many things: money, success, creativity, etc.  I did this subconsciously with art.  Growing up, my brother was considered "the artist".  He was an incredible painter...so amazing, in fact, that I didn't even really bother trying.  It was as if I thought that if I also painted, it would be some kind of competition.  I stuck to reading and writing...as if there wasn't enough room for both of us to be artists.  I still dealt with this insecurity in college when a friend handed me a children's book and paints and told me to make an altered book.  I began to realize that it was insecurity and a fear of not being good enough. 

Many of us do this subconscious or conscious comparison.  But, I've learned that there is enough for us all.  There is enough money, enough beauty, enough creativity, enough ability, enough success, enough dreams, enough bravery for all of us.  

The Meaning of the Labyrinth

"I come here to find myself because it's so easy to get lost in the world."  -John Burroughs

 The labyrinth is a unique tool/symbol that was handed to me when I needed something to hang on to.  It had been a tumultuous few years.  I was trying to escape it all and get as far away from everything I knew as I could manage.  This meant attending a school in central Florida that was a simulated 3rd world village.  Its purpose was to train people for the practical aspects of living in a third world environment.  I personally wanted to learn more sustainable life skills and put myself in a completely different situation.  Ironically, just as I was trying to escape it all, I discovered the labyrinth, which is designed to help people find their way.  As part of the school, we each had to choose a semester project.  I wanted to study spiritual disciplines.  My advisor asked if I knew anything about labyrinths, which I did not at the time.  As I began to research, I felt more and more connected to them.  I learned how to draw the Cretan labyrinth, which is said to be the first labyrinth design.  It is also the most simplistic, which was part of the attraction.  I found myself drawing it over and over.  My class notes from this school have multiple labyrinths in the margins. I read everything I could get my hands on about it (we did have access to a library after the first several weeks).  I also ended up building one out of pvc pipes and rope.  The labyrinth is typically created so that you can comfortably walk the path.  It has been used throughout the centuries as a walking prayer.  It is different than a maze.  A maze is created to get you lost with multiple turns and obstacles.  The maze is a puzzle to figure out.  On the other hand, a labyrinth is designed to help you find your way.  It is one path in and one path out.  You won't get lost...just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Because you won't get lost, you can walk without thinking or worrying.  You can just walk , knowing that your path is already laid out before you.  So, you walk the path to the center, spend time there in prayer or meditation, and then follow the same path back out.  Walking towards the center represents spending time with yourself in reflection.  Spending time in the center is literally meant to be centering before walking back out, symbolizing re-connecting with those around you.  It is a spiral that strikes a balance of spending time on your inner self and then connecting with your community.  I love that reminder, that ebb and flow.  Some also see the labyrinth as an ancient feminine symbol due to all its curves and circular aspects.  Some go so far as to see it as the divine womb.  Because of the point in my journey when I discovered it, it became my healing symbol.  I had been feeling stuck.  I was neither able to engage myself or others in any real sort of way.  For me, the labyrinth became a reminder to keep moving forward on my journey, to quit being afraid of getting lost, to just keep walking.  It also helped me to remember to center and to connect with myself and others, knowing that there is a balance of doing both.  To this day, I have an affinity for labyrinths and the notion of a prayer that involves movement and moving forward on our path.  The word "reimagine" entered shortly after I began to feel the affects of having discovered the labyrinth, which is why it felt appropriate that the labyrinth should be a logo for me having "reimagined" my life. 

What's in a Name? (Part 2: Luna's Story)

"Whatever else you do,
listen to your Deepest Self.
Love Her, and
Be true to Her,
Speak Her truth,
Always."
-Sue Monk Kidd

It was around Fall 2006 when I first connected myself with the name "Luna".  I was working at an eating disorder facility and was also in counseling.  One of the things I realized was how disconnected I was from my feelings.  I was told to get in touch with my "inner child".  My counselor was essentially asking me to become more honest about my growing up years and how it affected my younger self.  She encouraged my to name this part of myself.  I began to think of this more as my inner self or true self.  I felt like the "real" me was actually able to express myself freely, feel empowered, and know that I was incredibly capable of living life fully.  I had played a funny game with myself over the years that involved trying to decide what I would name myself if I had been given the option.  What name did I wish was mine...  I could never decide on one.  Nothing quite fit.  It happened one afternoon at the eating disorder facility when I was taking a break on the back porch.  One of my co-workers was telling me about a little girl whose name was Bella Luna.  It was like a light came on....Luna!  I would have named myself Luna.  I began secretly referring to myself as Luna.  I knew I was naming the part of me that was everything I did not yet know how to be:  self-accepting, empowered, confident, honest even when I didn't like what that meant.  It then progressed to my dear friend and I exchanging letters and each of us signing them with our self-given names.  As time went on, I began to identify more and more with "Luna" and who she represented to me.  I was becoming more and more the kind of woman I had always wanted to be.  I also began to "wake up" to a deep connection to the moon.  I learned how the moon is a strong symbol of femininity and how connected woman are even to the changing phases of the moon, especially when a woman is aware of this connection.

The meaning of "Luna" to me continues to evolve and expand.  I frequently get asked "Who is Luna?"  My simple answer is that Luna is a nickname.  And it is.  It's a self-given nickname to remind me to continue on the path of becoming my true self.

Traveling this Summer? {Travel Journals}

"Pilgrims are poets who create by taking a journey."
–Richard Niebuhr

I find that when I travel, I tend to take a new journal specifically for reflections and sketches pertinent to that adventure.  Journeys are such a change of pace that they can reveal parts of us to ourselves that we are too busy to pay attention to when we are in our regular routine.  It's nice to have something to captures these moments.  Also, because I use archival paper, you can add photos or mementos that you may collect along the way.  I recently had a customer tell me about a “smash book”.  It’s similar in concept to a scrapbook.  The difference is rather than waiting until you get back home to neatly organize and layout your ticket stubs, maps, photos, etc., you put things in your book as you collect them.  Her idea makes so much sense for those of us who have the best of intentions to scrapbook, but really just need to do things in the moment.  It is sometimes all too easy for all the memorabilia to end up in a shoe box that is lucky to even have a label with the date on it. 

My travel journals are now available in small, medium, and large.  They have 192 archival pages (includes both sides) and come with a pen and pen holder closure.  You can decide which size is best for you, depending on what size bag you tend to carry, whether you need more room for sketches or not, etc. 

Happy travels to all of you on journeys of all kinds this year!

Choosing to be Grateful {Gratitude Journal}

"Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way"–Native American Saying

This is an email that I received from a customer that I met recently.  I was so inspired by her recognizing her need to keep a gratitude journal that I asked if I could share this with you all.  Here is the email:

Dear Melissa,

I am so happy to have met you. I was literally drawn into your booth! I was in the middle of a sentence talking to my husband and writing something down for him when I stopped talking, handed him the paper, and walked into your booth! That has never happened to me before. I purchased one of your beautiful upcycled books-one with the cover from a Reader's Digest. I just love the idea of re-using covers - inspired!

While I was there, I told you about books by Rhonda Byrne. Her third one, The Magic, is a kind of "workbook" for gratitude. It's fabulous. After looking around on your web site, I know that you already live your life the way that is described in Rhonda Byrne's books. You talk about intentions and gratefulness. I love the idea of "imaginal cells" - thanks for sharing that.

I used to journal about what was going on in my life, but found that I focused on the bad stuff, the annoying things and what I was worried about. I could never go back and read stuff because it just made me feel bad. One of the exercises in The Magic is to write, first thing in the morning 10 things that you are grateful for. It's wonderful. It puts me a good mood and if I need an extra boost, I can go back and read pages and pages of things that I am grateful for. I will be filling my new journal with  happy thoughts - one of which is finding Re-Imagined by Luna!

What's in a Name? (Part 1)

Have you ever had so many hard things happen in life that you begin to expect that it will always be that way?  Maybe you walk around holding your breath waiting for the next difficult thing to happen...

I did that for a very long time.  Growing up was all about survival.  I learned this from my parents who were just trying to “make it”.  There were many difficulties growing up, but once I left for college, it all got considerably worse.  There was a year and a half climax where mom left dad, my dad shut down completely, and my brother who was 2 years younger had to be admitted to multiple psych wards.   While things seemed like they could not get worse, they did.  It culminated on June 8th 2004 when my brother completed suicide.   It was devastating as well as slightly ironic as my dad was always the one to talk about wanting to die.  Instead, my 19 year old brother had opted out early. I had already planned a trip to Europe that summer before everything happened and decided to still go.  I recall sitting on that plane in a state of shock, reflecting on what had just happened a few weeks prior.  I found myself thinking, “Dad chooses to live as though he is dead, my brother chose to die….I want to choose to live.”  I knew from my observations that I wanted to do life differently.  I wanted to actually engage and LIVE my life. The years that have followed are filled with their own stories of learning how to shake off what I was taught and learn what it means to actually live my life. 

It was a few years after my brother's passing that the word “re-imagine” became important.  At the time, I was working with adult women at an eating disorder facility.  I was watching how severely these women were being haunted and controlled by their past…to the point of self-abuse, self-rejection, and deep self-loathing.   Trying to convey to any of them that life was worth living was quite a task.  After those days at work, I’d go home, make a cup of tea, and journal for hours.  I was proccessing a lot of their pain and self-abuse, but it was also highlighting for me my own hurt and self-rejection.   It slowly became more evident that I was still holding my breath on my own life.  I was still waiting for the next hard thing to happen.  My past had taught me that this was how life went:  something hard will happen and then it will get worse… when you think it couldn’t get any worse, it will.  I vividly remember lying in bed one evening when the word “re-imagine” first came.  I repeated it over and over.  That is what I needed!  I needed to re-imagine how my life could be rather than basing it on how it always had been.  It could be different.  I needed to breathe and give my life permission to be better.  I’ve now re-imagined countless areas of my life, but I began with small steps.  I gave myself permission for life to be different and recognized that it could be an option to not always feel stressed and hurt.  With that, came breathing more deeply, no longer holding my breath, and slowing down to look at the reality of my life rather than staying busy in an attempt to ignore it. 

When I began thinking of a business name, I continued to not be able to shake this word.  I was very much into eco-friendly practices and using repurposed materials.  It easily worked as a name since I “re-imagine” how materials could be used rather than throwing them away.  However, there is that much deeper aspect and reminder to me to keep re-imagining my life and to fully live.   

In what ways have you or are you re-imagining your life?

One of those weeks...

It's been one of those weeks.  You know the kind...where multiple obstacles and difficult circumstances seem to collide and make you feel like you're doing everything in your power just to keep afloat.  Here is just one example:  Last Friday, the internet goes down.  Someone came out and fixed it on Monday morning just in time for my computer to start acting like it was going to crash.  I worked with it for the past couple of days, updating and clearing out files to free up space.  I was almost through with it when...yes, the internet went back out.  This morning, the internet is out, and my seemingly-almost-better computer begins to not work at all.  I took it in to find out that I need a new hard drive.  

Now take this example and echo it through a variety of circumstances this week.   Something happens, seems better, then something else happens.  I've had to try and stay very focused, especially with a show coming up this weekend.  I've had to prioritize and recognize what needs done now and what can realistically wait until next week.   I know that I'm not alone in this.  I've had multiple conversations this week where others are also running into extra obstacles.  It's like I have a reserve of energy to get through a week.  I know what has to be done and what I need to do it.  When you add several extra large things to that mix, that's where I start to feel like I can't catch my breath.  

Last night, I took a time out.  I spent some time being still, journaling, and doing some reading in The Wisdom of No Escape by Pema Chodron.  Here is some of what I came across:  

"In the way we practice, we don't say 'Hell is bad and heaven is good' or 'Get rid of hell and just seek heaven', but we encourage ourselves to develop an open heart and an open mind to heaven, to hell, to everything.  Why?  Because only then can we realize that no matter what comes along, we're always standing at the center of the world in the middle of sacred space, and everything that comes into that circle and exists with us there has come to teach us what we need to know.  

Life's work is to wake up, to let the things that enter the circle wake you up rather than put you to sleep.  The only way to do this is to be open, be curious, and develop some sense of sympathy for everything that comes along, to get to know its nature and let it teach you what it will."

With that, I'm reminded that we must each continue to wake up to how things actually are.  It's easy when things are going well to think that we're regressing if something goes bad.  "Heaven or hell"...that old dichotomic way of thinking.  Instead, I am moving through each of these obstacles with long, deep breaths and curiosity.  Now, I just need to add a dose of good humor, and I'll be set for the weekend.

**Photo sent by a dear friend as a reminder that things will get better

Has anyone else had one of those weeks?  Feel free to share your stories and how you are stepping through it... 

Still Standing

"Here it is: Are you still standing? The answer is, Yes! (And no adverbs like "barely" are allowed here). If you are still standing, ragged flags or no, you are able. Thus, you have passed the bar. And even raised it."  -Clarissa Pinkole Estes

All day Sunday, I kept thinking “S.S. or Still Standing”.  Clarissa Pinkola Estes references this frequently throughout her stories of pushing through difficult circumstances.  I was at my first art show of the season this past weekend.  For those of you who have done or do outside shows, you understand that one of the biggest stressors is weather.  There was potential for scattered storms throughout the weekend, and I had mentally prepared to deal with rain.  The days during the show ended up being beautiful and sunny.  However, a couple huge storms rolled through Saturday night with lots of rain, wind, and hail.  I arrived Sunday morning to a tent that had been wrestled to the ground by water that had accumulated on the roof.  The tent frame was mangled and broken in several places.   At first, I was sure I would have to pack my things up and go home.  It was beyond repair, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to make it work by myself.  That is when the first wave of support showed up.  Several of my artist neighbors came to help me get the water out and devise a way to make it work for the day.  We ended up using extra poles I had with me and, quite literally, zip-tied and ducked taped it together.  We made it work and, thankfully, there weren’t any high winds.  The tent stayed standing for the day.  I felt so cared for and appreciative of everyone.  Numerous artists and volunteers at the fair stopped by throughout the stay to check on me and make sure I was ok.  I kept thinking how it was the best case scenario considering what happened.  My tent frame was broken.  Yes.  And yet, all of my product had been safely stored away in plastic bins, none of my display was damaged, and even the tops of my table cloths were dry enough to use for the day.  Incredible. 

The next concern was getting another tent.  I knew I needed a more stable one and, ideally, one that I would not have to be worried about leaking.  Paper products and water do not mix well, and it’s always unnerving when it rains even a little bit.  I also knew that the kind of tent I wanted was more than I can currently afford.  On Monday, I began to contact folks in the artist community to see if anyone knew of a used tent for sale.  The Kentucky Guild of Artists and Craftsmen replied with an artist’s information.  Thankfully, the tent was still available when I called.  That is when I realized that the universe was conspiring in my favor.  I drove down to Corbin through the gorgeous hills of southern KY to meet Ora Alsip.  He is a photographer and takes has gorgeous photos of rural communities and settings.  He showed me a photo of a moon bow, which I had never heard of before.  He said the best time to see one is the night before the full moon if the weather is clear.  It was not only a pleasure to meet him and his wife, but he took time to teach me how to set-up the tent and showed me the easiest way to do so.  What had seemed like a mess the day before turned around into a beautiful experience.  I am now the proud owner of a stable, water-proof tent and am so very thankful to Ora and to the artist community for being so caring and supportive.

Some of what did not get damaged

Be as a Bird

"Be as a bird perched on a frail branch that she feels bending beneath her, still she sings away all the same, knowing she has wings." -Victor Hugo 

I have my first show of the season this weekend.  I'm busy creating as many books as possible while simultaneously giving my booth a make-over.  These are the kinds of weeks where I literally don't do anything that isn't related to my business.  It takes over.  I've come to call times like this my vortex.  Luckily, I really like what I'm doing and it's just the nature of getting back into the season of art festivals.  I do have time to think as I sit quietly sewing book after book (sometimes, I work best in silence...especially if there is pressure to move quickly).  One of the things I’ve been reflecting on is potential and actualizing it.  In many of my formative years, I focused on people’s potential not wanting to look at where they actually were and what their actual choices involved.  Instead, I chose to see what they were capable of and what choices they could be making.  This wasn’t helpful for either of us in the long run.  It is rare that people recognize their own potential AND choose to act on it.  I've come to learn that potential isn't so great if it isn't ever acted upon.  This is one of the thoughts that inspired a couple of my new journals designs.   It felt important to represent both potential (a bird resting) and potential actualized (a bird flying).  While resting and knowing one's potential is good, it is also imperative to actualize this and to fly.  Enjoy the weekend!

(All my new bird designs)

Spending the Afternoon

"Spend the afternoon.  You can't take it with you." -Annie Dillard

Yesterday, I took a little bit of sewing and played hooky from my studio.  I went to the woods, to a creek that I was introduced to over the weekend.  I couldn't help it.  I knew the water would be low and perfect for wading in.  My ears longed to hear the sounds of water cascading over rocks.  Maybe I feel drawn to it because I grew up by a creek and spent most days playing in it for years... Maybe this connection with nature in something that resides in most of us...  It's an awakening to simplicity and being present. While my friend fished, I mostly practiced seeing and listening.  I watched the trees and try to match the birds with the particular choruses I heard.  I stared at the water, noticing ripples and turtles and the diversity of fish and the sleekness of snakes.  "I walk out; I see something, some event that would otherwise have been utterly missed or lost; or something sees me, some enormous power brushes me with its clean wing, and I resound like a beaten bell" (Annie Dillard).  It is the seeing that enlivens me.  It’s the moments of this dragonfly or that woodpecker that I often miss.  I thought to myself how good it is to just be...and that's it.  I shock myself in that setting with how fully I am content and how the regular expectations of needing to be more dissolve.

"I am a frayed and nibbled survivor in a fallen world, and I am getting along. I am aging and eaten and have done my share of eating too. I am not washed and beautiful, in control of a shining world in which everything fits, but instead am wondering awed about on a splintered wreck I've come to care for, whose gnawed trees breathe a delicate air, whose bloodied and scarred creatures are my dearest companions, and whose beauty beats and shines not in its imperfections but overwhelmingly in spite of them...”  (Annie Dillard).


-quotes from Pilgrim at Tinker Creek by Annie Dillard

Where It All Began

I looked around this morning and couldn't find it:  my first "journal" ever.  It must be packed away in a box somewhere in the attic.  Suffice it to say that it is pink, has a weird texture, and says "diary" on the front along with a few musical notes.  Here is a sketch to really give you a visual:  

I was around six when I first started keeping a journal.  Most of what I noted at the time had to do with fights with my brother, getting to go to friends' houses, and an update on our animals.  I wrote because it Rage Rage Against the Dying of the Lightsounded like a good idea.  Since I loved reading, it made sense to me to write.  I remember as a kid putting rules around it.  Put the date at the top.  Start with "Dear Diary".  Write everyday.  Don't write anything you don't want anyone else to read.  So, I wrote mostly mundane details.  I continued to keep a journal into high school, though I became much less rigid with myself, by dropping the "Dear Diary" and writing more freely.  By college, I realized I no longer simply chose to keep a journal:  I had to write.  At some point, it had become a survival mechanism.  I recorded alot of what was going on, wrote down my dreams, and released tons of free verse poetry on those pages.  There was so much going on with my family and my friends.  It was more than I could bear to say aloud so I simply wrote.  I even wrote in third person about the parts of me I didn't want anyone to know.  I pretended they were short stories and everyone got a nickname, including myself.  It helped.  I was able to continually empty myself just in time before the next big upset.  This went on for years.  I was afraid of being too intense for my friends so I didn't vocalize much.  I just kept writing and writing and writing some more.  I did make sure that those around me knew that if I was getting grumpy or irritated  that I probably was just overdue on taking time to journal.  It made that much of a difference for me.  Thankfully, life has settled down a bit and I no longer feel like I am constantly dodging curveballs.  I still keep a journal, reflecting on my days and responses and noting my dreams and personal growth.  I'm not as religious about it and it is not as necessary to keeping me afloat, but I continue to find it helpful.  Sometimes, it will be as simple as bullet points just to spark a memory while other times it will consist of a primitive drawing or layers of color.  I frequently get asked how I got into bookmaking.  While I can go into the details of how I learned to create a book, the basis of my bookmaking has much more to do with journaling and how I feel like it quite literally saved my life several times.

Some of my journals from over the years

Imaginal Cells

Have you heard of "imaginal cells"?  They are the cells that occur in a chrysalis during the time that a caterpillar is transforming into a butterfly.  These cells are completely different from the caterpillar’s cells and vibrate at a different frequency.   It makes me think about our "imaginal cells", the part of us that knows that we are more than we appear.  This is the aspect in us that beckons us to wake up, to see more, to step into our larger selves.  In caterpillars, these cells are initially attacked by the caterpillar's immune system and are seen as enemies because they are unfamiliar.  However, the imaginal cells persist.  They foresee that the caterpillar is more than it seems.  We are the same.  We are more than culture tells us, more than our families and teachers teach us.  If we want to be able to actualize all of this potential within ourselves, we need to become aware of our "imaginal cells" and give ourselves permission to transform. 

Rushing Forward

 

We all do it....going, going, going.  never. stopping.  until we collapse into bed at night and start it all over the next day.   I can speak directly to this because I also have this tendency.  The days can frequently feel so full that I jump out of bed on full blast, charging through everything I think I need to get done.  Then, the moment happens where I feel like I am struggling for air.  It will dawn on me-I haven't stopped to take a breath.  Our culture teaches us to do this:  To fill up every minute of every day with work and other people and good intentions and this and that.  We all react in our various extremes with some of us choosing the all-too-lethargic path and some of us multi-tasking our way through every moment.  For those of us who kick it into overdrive, STOP!  Just for a little bit...sit down.  catch your breath.  without the computer or tv in front of you.  just you and your thoughts and your breath.  I've found pausing to be helpful, especially when my days seem particularly busy.  It reminds me to actually live my life rather than rushing through it.  

 

 

"Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves-slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment.  Only this moment is life." –Thich Nhat Hanh

Teachings from Horses

Any time I become intrigued with a particular animal, I like to explore what Native Americans, Shamans, and Healers associate with that animal.  This can be called an animal totem or animal medicine.  It’s fascinating as each animal has different characteristics to teach us.  Horses are no different.  Horses are one of the few animals that is said to have made alliance with humans early on.  They set us free to travel and transport and work the ground in ways that people had not been able to do before.  It is interesting to note that engines are still measured in “horsepower”.   They have often been associated with mystical powers, especially in various mythologies.  Part of this mystical power is intuition.  With this knowing comes a deep sense of knowing themselves.  There are many references to a horse’s dignity whether it is running wild and free or pulling a plow and the heaviest of burdens.  A horse knows that regardless of its domestication it can quickly become once again the untamed spirit it always was.  This is part of the horse’s teachings: to walk through difficult circumstances with ease and dignity, knowing that deep down we are always free.  This goes along with personal empowerment and tapping into your own inner power.  Horses demonstrate this whether they are racing or running wild or pulling a plow.   They are continually tapping into their power.  They teach us that what we need to access is right there within us.  Think about a horse galloping.  When you allow the horse to set its own pace, riding quickly becomes a pleasure.  It is teaching us to get in touch with our own spirit, allowing this part of ourselves to discover our distinct rhythm.  Doing so sets us free to really enjoy life.  Everything has a bit more ease in it.  Another aspect worth noting is the mother horse.  She gives herself fully to supporting her colts, which can be seen in the sway of her back when she is suckled.  However, she knows when enough is enough.  She does not allow more to be taken from her than is necessary.  We can learn a lot about self-care from the mother horse.  She knows when it is time to take care of herself and teaches her little ones when it is time to take care of themselves.  This is mostly done by example.  The lessons we can learn from horses goes on and on.  They have much to offer us if only we will listen a little more deeply.  The Kentucky’s state logo is “unbridled spirit”.   I love this!  It brings to mind a horse in its natural habitat, without the conditionings we’ve put on it.  That phrase “unbridled spirit” calls out to my gypsy soul…the part of me that continues to learn how to be untangled and free.  I am reminded that, regardless of what things may seem, I am free.